I used to think I had such control. Funny. It was all in my mind. Sometimes circumstances would bend, appearing to show ‘proof’ of my ability to control/influence them. Enough to keep me trapped in that way of thinking. But it was false.
Well—false in one aspect. Real Truth. (Bear with me…) But true in another aspect, which was the only one I could ever focus on. And that was ‘external’. I could exert external force onto a situation, and, depending on how much influence I had on that person’s life, and how much they were tapped into truth themselves, I could “make things happen.” I could exert my force onto a situation and externally (pressing from without, not within) manipulate and force things to happen. But the new set of circumstances that I could exert that had my approval on them–and were what I saw to be the answer to the problem–were only ever temporary. Only ever a bandaid over the problem, never healing the wound. But I kept on. Unaware.
Now I am aware. Aware that I have no power. Real or perceived. No power to change another person from the outside in. That power is only for me. If I try to change another, what am I saying? I’m saying that I think I can correct them. But how could I? If I tap into the Conscious Masses Mindset, I may come up with something they are ‘doing’ which may appear ‘obvious’ to me, but unless I am behind that person’s eyes, there is no obvious. I can’t possibly know why a person makes a decision to stay in a pattern of self-degradation.
God is the only one who knows all. The Alpha and Omega. Our Creator. God also knows something I don’t fully grasp yet: Truth.
I may be able to temporarily change a situation to fit MY needs, and to make my life go easier. But I cannot produce heart change. The kind of inner work that changes a person from the inside out. That explosive change that embraces Truth and Life! That transformational change that turns a life around and expands awareness! That can only come from inner work. I’m not privy to that in another person any more than someone else is privy to mine. There is only One that is privy, and qualified to be there. Because of the long-standing relationship. Because this Person has counted every tear. Felt every pain. Watched every unjust situation in your life shape you and shape your choices. Choices you felt were the only choice that you had. Only because you didn’t know any better.
So now I know what my part is. To not agree with others when they say things that aren’t true. “I failed.” “I deserve all the misery life can bring.” “I am worthless.” And speak the TRUTH into their hearts. “You aren’t a failure. You aren’t worthless. You don’t deserve misery. You are a one-of-a-kind creation of the Living God and you wear a crown of victory that is worth more than priceless gemstones. You deserve all the buckets of goodness and mercy being poured out on you on a daily basis!”
My part is to live in that truth for myself so I can show others. My example does more in the unseen world of the soul/heart than any external force I can exert onto another human being. We are all in this together. United. As one. When I let the Source of All do the work and I just rest in that and BELIEVE, I have way more power/influence/control than I EVER had when I thought I was IN control! This is a mystery to me. And I have no desire to de-mystify it.
So I rest. I allow. It’s a whole new way for me. It’s completely 180° from the old way of doing things. Every once in a while, I go back to an old thought. I did those things for so long, it’s hard not to slip back into that mindset—especially when it is so acceptable to the Conscious Masses. Then I remind myself Who is qualified to go there… And I remember, “Oh yeah. I’m not.”
It is getting easier to rest. Isn’t it ridiculous that resting was so hard for me for so long? But now I rest. And I don’t have thoughts swirling around in my head spooking me about this and that. What could be. I know the truth. I know what’s certain.
Uncertainty is noisy and incessant! Certainty is quiet and speaks gently to the soul.
It says, “Rest.”